Everyone’s loss is unique and no one grieves in the same way, so there’s no way to present guidelines about how to grieve. Even so, people find themselves being told how to grieve, and as a result, there are many grieving myths that circulate about what is “normal” in the grieving process.
Understanding that these myths exist is a useful way to help you grieve and understand that how other people grieve shouldn’t inform your own experience. Here are the top 5 grieving myths that we most often hear:
1. You Should Keep Busy
It’s a common belief that keeping busy will keep our loved ones and our loss off our minds. While it’s important to participate in healthy activities once in a while, it’s equally important to give yourself time to reflect on your beloved, lost loved one. Otherwise, you may end up suppressing your grief.
2. Everyone Grieves For The Same Amount Of Time
We’ve all heard about the five stages of grief. They’ve made it easy to define the grieving process and make it appear less complicated than it is. But the fact is that grieving is complicated, and it’s different for everyone. Everyone goes through different “stages” at different times and for different lengths of time. One person’s experience won’t be the same as another’s.
3. Nobody Will Understand
Often, our friends and family will say, “I know what you’re going through.” Everyone’s loss is unique and it’s unlikely that even your closest family member or friend will know exactly how you are feeling. But it’s important that you give people a chance and allow them to help through your grief. While no one will completely understand your grief, they likely have an idea of the kinds of things you’re feeling from their own experiences with grief.
4. Grieving Is A Private Process
Grieving certainly can be a private process, if that’s what you want. Some of us prefer to surround ourselves with people and share in our grief with one another, or even go to counselling, while others prefer to grieve alone. Whatever your preference, there is no wrong way to grieve. The only thing that matters is that you are choosing to grieve the way you want.
5. Things Will Go Back To Normal
When you’ve suffered a major loss, it’s unrealistic to expect your life to go back to the way it was. However, you will eventually adjust to your new life and you’ll soon return to a new version of normal. Your loved one was a major part of your life, and it would be unfair to expect that your life wouldn’t change after losing them.
The most important thing to remember about grief is that there is no right or wrong way to grieve, and everyone has their own process. For many, sharing stories of their loved ones can be a beautiful way to remember their loved ones. If you have a story about someone at Woodlawn Memorial Park that you’d like to share, we’d be honoured to hear it.